SLICE OF WISDOM

New York City!!! 

If I can make it  there, I can make it anywhere. 

I’ve learned that there are sayings like this for a reason. NYC is a whole different pace. 

It’s ON all the time. I mean anything you want/need is pretty much available anytime. 

I love the city and I especially love the people. 

There are generalizations of NYC types that go something like-Gruff, Rude, Mean, Short Tempered. 

You know, the Soup guy from that Seinfeld episode. 

But that is just TV and narrow minded opinions. Mostly from people who have NEVER been to NYC. Do you think that type of person/people could have dug out after 9/11? They are the most straight forward, to the point, no BS people I’ve ever encountered and that works just great for me. I have had strangers approach me on the sidewalks and start conversations with me in Manhattan. 

Just cool people… 

You could see a celebrity on the street or in a restaurant and it just plays out like normal life. Oh, yeah sure, they are on TV every week and you feel like you know them, but seeing them with a package of Charmin Toilet Paper, you realize, we all put our pants on the same in the morning.

So much history just oozes out of every block as well, which really puts things in perspective. Much like the Grand Canyon makes you feel small and it seems timeless standing there before it, when you are in the concrete canyons of Manhattan, you feel like this corner is where CBGB’s really IS.

Not in a book or picture you’ve seen a million times. Or the countless movies filmed there.

This IS the Village Vanguard, Electric Lady Land, Ellis Island, and yes the Twin Towers. 

I was in Tower 2 getting coffee at Starbucks and using the restroom just 5 days before that particular building came down. 

I was asking Transit Authority which way to the Staten Island Ferry. 

Fond memories of NY pre 9/11. Hard to explain.

Anyway, it was on this particular trip to NYC that I was in a deli and was given one of the most valuable life lessons ever. At least for me…

Trying to get in out of the rain, I ducked into a random deli to get dry and get a bite. As I approached the counter, I see the menu board above it and it has all the sandwiches, ingredients etc. I’m contemplating my choices and was readying myself to order, but sorta hemming and hawing. 

I was seeing what the sandwiches came with, and was working backwards from that. 

“I’ll have a turkey on wheat, but NO mayo, NO tomatoes, NO….” and he stops me right there.

“Why don’t you tell me what you DO want, and not what you DON’T want?!?!”

This hit me like a freight train between my two ears!

Now, some people may take that at face value and with the tone he had, get really pissed or upset. But being in NYC, you just kinda fall in line, and follow orders.

“I’ll have a turkey sandwich with wheat bread, mustard, lettuce and sprouts. Thank you…”

“$5.50 please.”

That’s just how it works there and should in general. 

No time to mess around and decipher what it is you are getting at. Just let me know. 

That’s why people take it the wrong way, as short, or gruff. I take it as a no bullshit attitude, that is gonna be solid day in/day out. 

If we all lived as close to each other as New Yorkers do, we would be a little more understanding of each other, I think. 

But most of America is sequestered in their own homes with their STUFF, their yard, and their cars. 

The City is small and compact and you only have what you absolutely need. 

Groceries for the next couple days at the most, sometimes. 

No freezer with the whole seasons’ worth of meat. 

I mean there were apartment up until recently and probably still today where the bath tub is in the living room. NOT a framed out bathroom of even an enclosed outhouse. We’re talking Little House on the Prairie stuff.

After I got my sandwich, I just kind of shuffled to a table and opened my bag of chips.

I was really reeling from that little interaction at the counter. 

TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT…. 

Most people never ever do this. They feel they will hurt someones feelings or perhaps approach an uncomfortable situation. That’s how most will live their lives. 

Never uncomfortable. 

Try getting on a subway after the MTA threatened a strike the whole weekend before a Monday commute. Tight and VERY uncomfortable.

TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT

“I want you to be a nicer person!”

NOT WHAT YOU DON’T WANT…. 

“Don’t be such an asshole!”

This is what we all do. 

“I don’t like this, I don’t like that. I don’t want you do go out tonight.” as an example.

Well then what DO you want me to do? Want me to stay home with you? Believe me someone would rather hear “It sure would be cool if you stayed home tonight and we could do something together.”

THAN…. “I don’t want you to go out tonight!” (This isn’t me by the way:)

The positive movement forward in that conversation is what is key here. 

Removing the obstacles, hurdles and uncertainty.

Cutting the crap and getting to the point. 

All of the life situations this could be applied to, were mind boggling.

This was all swirling in my head as I ate my sandwich and just felt like a huge weight had been lifted. 

I mean, it was an intense couple of minutes. it seemed like total clarity had been bestowed.

This was my new mantra. I would apply it to all my aspects of life. 

I’ve always been a “straight shooter” but this was a whole ‘nuther level. 

This deli guy had no idea that he dropped some serious knowledge on me,

I’m a simple dude and have been on my own since the age of 15. 

I lived pretty close to the street, but was smart enough to know it was a hard way of living. 

I had to have some of the nicer things and a little more consistency in my life. 

I have always worked growing up. ALWAYS… 

I may have quit High School as a Jr. but it was only because I was a bus boy at an Italian restaurant at night. Then I actually was working afternoons AFTER school in a huge industrial laundry factory across the street for school. My work career was off and running. One crap job to another. 

Anyway, this New York trip found me returning home Sept.8th.

I remember on the plane trip home, I was listening to some music and this gentleman across the aisle said that the motion of me tapping plus the soft sound was bothering him.   

I was slightly offended from his tone, his attitude and particularly his face. 

He explained he had “work to do”.

There were multiple ways for him to approach this matter, but he chose the worst one.

I put my cd player away and just watched him work. I’m “passive aggressive” that way. 

I should have applied some of my new found wisdom and told him: 

“I want you to not treat this glorified Greyhound Bus ride like it was your own personal time alone to do work and don’t treat 36C as YOUR OWN office space when we are 3 aisles away from the crapper. YOU DICK!!!” 

But I didn’t…

As the planes crashed into the buildings and our lives forever changed the way we fly, 

I reflected back on this dude and his petty request.

I hope he reflected back on his arrogance with me and my “tapping” that bothered him.

You got a whole new mess of problems with flying these days, huh buddy?``` 

Why don’t you tell me what you DO want. Not what you DON’T want!